Booze Hound...

One of my favourite topics of all times this. There are few things on this planet that interests me or entertains me as much as alcohol in all its forms and splendor (this is along with Meat, Chocolate and Women in all their forms and splendor). So, why all the talk about alcohol, you may ask, it’s because New Years is coming in less than a week and tis the season to start stocking up on booze. My good friends Kurien, Sana, Ollie, Siga and Megu have all decided to pick up some smart rum from the land of the Kannadiga’s. You get some brilliant alcohol in that state, that’s why I keep going there once in a while, it’s the kind of place you go to for a weekend of madness, you can’t stay there for a longer period of time as your life may be in danger, we Tamils (meaning me and 2 other jokers) cannot handle the wrath of the good Kannada booze, we usually end up creating a ruckus and disturbing the peace.

As far as the stocking up is concerned, I’m going to go get some four bottles of Royal Stag this afternoon. It’s this brilliant whiskey that’s smooth as silk and at the same time violent as a viper, it doesn't have the basic courtesy to warn us of the dangers of consuming it. It has such a rich and full bodied taste that you don’t realize the number of drinks you've had till it’s too late. A bottle of Old Monk or Old Monster would warn you the second you opened the bottle, the scent of it will hit you so hard that your brain will automatically realize (unconsciously) the dangers of over consumption (3 larges), and why would you want to mess with a bottle named Old Monster in the first place (the first time we challenged an Old Monster was the last time we challenged anything).

I've got to tell the other Chennai based Malayalis and the lone Golti to stock up on the Russian elixir. But there is a surprise for those who come early to the party this year, oh yes, a surprise it is. What else needs to be done? Music and food, the people who are supposed to be in-charge of music are a bunch of lazy arses who, I bet, have even forgotten the fact that they are in-charge of the music, they wanted to have a disco dance off, I want to see how that goes.

Now back to the booze... yes, I need to get in touch with my bootleggers and make it happen. It’s funny that in Madras the bootleggers are cheaper than the regular, good old wine shops. Plus the bootlegged booze won’t hit you on the first drink like all the other tainted local booze that’s got certain additives that acts as a catalyst to getting high and also increases the aroma of the liquor, good if you are on a budget, bad if you have work the next day, good if you are short on time but bad, if you have to get back home and unfortunately you've forgotten the keys. So the verdict now, actually there’s no questioning alcohol, it’s a “in the genes” thing....

Let’s get smashed...

Merry....

And tis the season to be jolly.... fa la la la la...la la la la..... Yes ladies and gentlemen, Christmas is upon us. Usually the happiest time of the year, other than every payday and that occasional government holiday that pops up without any warning... don’t you just love those... Rain Days during school... Strikes during college (not that we had any)... The boss’ death and even Gandhi’s birthday.... All good!

It’s a nice Christmas this time, got my cousins and niece at home, mum’s in the kitchen making the Christmas snacks (some set Murukku and some Diamond Cuts) and she’s asked me to get her a half of Old Monk to mix in the cake, bless her soul for she understands her family’s ways. The Mossie bai is going to deliver the Biriyani tomorrow for lunch, sometimes I feel that is why they were put on this blessed Earth, to feed all us fat SOB’s.

Damn... I haven’t gone shopping yet. No clothes or anything of that sort, and no gifts for most people, got to get me folks something though and my niece wants me to buy her a Barbie doll, and I just found out that one of these damn dolls costs around 1000 bucks. How is it that a plastic doll that doesn’t do anything and that’s probably made in China cost so much, Madness isn’t it? I remember the good old days when my GI Joes and He-Man figurines used to cost around 40 to about 100 rupees, I had like a million of them, wonder where they all went....

I’m going to make the brandy fondue for dessert, a round of Rummy and bottle of Johnny mixed with all that Rum cake and Chocolates and we’ll all be going Ho! Ho! Ho! by the end of the night. The only annoying part is waking up early on a Friday to go to Church, not that I don’t enjoy Church (especially on Christmas and Harvest) it’s just that it’s too early in the morning. It’s the one time of year you can see everyone that happy there, the usual Church gossip, Politics and commotion will be replaced by loud and happy people exchanging Christmas wishes and pleasantries about how each other’s clothes look and how happy they are to see each other, and for me it is usually a remark about how long it has been since they’ve seen me in Church.

But all in all a really good time it is and it’s going to be. So the verdict is as simple as the pie that we aren’t making...

To be as Merry as Santa Clause on shrooms...

Honest...

My friends would say that I am a jackass of various sorts, I disagree... I am what you would call a loving and considerate lad... witty and wise... the problem comes up when I say the truth. Like Gandhi, I believe in saying the truth, only the truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God... what people need to understand is that the truth hurts, stings even...

For example nobody wants to know their actual weight, and nobody wants to reveal their true age...society forces various stereotypes upon us. We need to walk and talk in a certain manner; we need to be tall, dark and handsome...or the fairer sex has to measure 36-24-36.... "If you are slim, trim and healthy, people will like you” they say.... I say all balls. I’m 5'10", 78 kgs and have a face the size of a small car with hair that acts as a naturally occurring helmet, and the truth is the people who despise me will keep despising me for life and I can’t help it. It’s not that they don’t like me because of my appearance, it’s because I’m honest, I call the things the way I see them, no sugar coating or sweet talking, no.... none of that. I don’t see why people need to kiss the arse of someone else just to get them to like you... ridiculous.

So, should I try to get everyone to like me by becoming the "gentleman stud", or can I ignore the society I live in and go about living my fat and comfortable life?... The Verdict... I'll leave the choice to you nice, sweet, considerate and beautiful people.......Psych!!!.... You suckers haven’t learnt anything yet...The verdict is quiet simple...

To Be.....

A Blogger....

Ah yes.... to be, or not to be a blogger... for that is the question. Its not like I have much to do in life either ways. The routine of work, coffee and cigarettes can become quiet dull, so to add to my massive list of tasks, I add blogging... Exciting isn't it...???

It's a funny word "Blogging"... As far as my understanding goes of this extremely complicated technology, it's like keeping a journal, or like putting up a really long and boring status message on some extremely addictive social networking site, only no one seems to read these damn things...

But what do I write about, some random rantings about my life and the dilemmas I face? or true, day to day events that will humiliate my family and friends? I guess i'll go with the latter.... so there we have it... the verdict...

To be... Blogging...