To be, or Not to be...

Overly Enthusiastic...

Being the enthu patani (Enthusiactic Pea) that I am, I have decided to annoy you all with "yet another blog". This one is about food though and things food like, quick snacks, epic meals, fantastic dinners and stuff like that.

So do go check it out, and leave your comments and hit that follow button.

The Link - http://meatmannan.blogspot.in/

Cheers

P.S : The Verdit, to be as big an enthu patani as you can. Why? cause its good fun, that's why.

Upgrading to Life 5.0

"Sweet Mother of God!!! Another Wedding.." I stated loudly, two years ago, and here I am, two years later, a Married Man, Kalyana Sundaram post his own Kalyanam. Karma has a funny way of coming back and biting you in the Ass.

You would think two years is a long time, but it isn't, it flies by at break neck speeds and leaves you in a state of "huh? enna happened?", then you hear the scream in your head, "life kanna, life" and then you calm the hell down and realize, Its All Good.

Suddenly you see the juvenile, drinking on the road, triples on a moped, midnight adventurous self of you pack his or her bags and leave home. Now leaving, You, the working, saving, not as retarded dreamer to make the next move, 'Queen to Queen's Rook 4'. And that is where you are, all ready, your sights set on the end game and you're gunning for it.

So how is the new upgraded 'Life 5.0' people ask me, and in all honesty....... the same. It's either that or I don't see it. There are minor differences, exciting differences, but the crux of who you are remains the same I suppose. It is as they say, you can take the "Cat to the Country Club, but you can’t take the Country out of the Cat".... or something to that effect... whatever, fuck it.

Now there are new things to look forward to, the arrival of my niece or nephew (I say nephew!) in less than 50 days, is the biggest thing. "Maams" is what he or she shall call me, and I will give them drinking money, yes I shall. New trips and holidays with the Wife is another, never traveled as "a couple" before, thought it would be boring as hell, but it's quite fun actually. Shifting out to our own place in a year, is probably the biggest and most expensive as far as budget goes, and a part of me dies when I think I have to leave Besant Nagar for the likes of Velachery, but like I said before, "life kanna, life"... if you can’t keep up with it, you get left behind.

Coming back to the point of being the same with the crux and all that nonsense, a good example is today. A Saturday, like the thousand Saturdays before this, we plan to do the same old thing and that is, "Put Kudi on Terr"... not a drink with fine dining and cheeses, not going to a fancy bar with champagne, but good old Old Monk with Water, and a Burger from Tasty Jones, sit in a big Circle and talk gibberish till the wee hours of the morning. And it’s things like this and days like these that make life, that much more exciting. The salt in the mix.

The verdict you ask? Is that Change is Inevitable and as long as it is towards the positive, I guess it's harmless. Also I didn't mean to sound like Morpheus back there... so, have a great weekend all of you.

Cheers.

A Happy New Year!!!

Here's wishing you all a very Happy New Years!!! May this year, bring abundant joy, tears, sadness, laughter and other such melodrama, making it a bit more tolerable and much more fun... Cheers...

Calling Airtel Customer Care….

7:35 pm, Wednesday the 13^th June, 2011

Santhosh walks into his house after a hard day’s work, with plans for a quiet evening at home, “I'll watch some Youtube” he says to himself, “maybe I’ll have a chat with friends on gchat, browse through random profiles on facebook etc, but first I should check out this new Google + thing, maybe I’ll upload my engagement photos”, he dreams. So with a hope in his heart and a song in his head, he walks into his room.

“Woe is me!!!” he screams, his dreams crushed, and his ‘quiet evening plans’ shattered. He walks in, only to find his internet dead again, for the 654^th time, but “worry not” he thinks to himself, “for it is just a ‘locked port’ and a call to the trusty ‘Complaints Department’ of ‘Airtel’s Broadband and Fixed Line’(dial 198 from your Airtel Fixed Line) will resolve this disaster that was afoot.”

So piously, with great respect and love for this service that he has been using for the past decade, he decides to call ‘The Complaints Department – Airtel Broadband and Fixed Line’ like the 653 times before.

With the receiver in his left hand, he dials… 1, 9 and 8, a moment of silence and then there you hear it, that familiar tune, the new Airtel anthem, a funky tune with lyrics that don’t make sense and a weirdly repetitive humming for a chorus, that makes him think ‘this has got to be the worst jingle ever’. He listens closely as a voice starts speaking those familiar words, words that would guide him to victory, to freedom, to internet bliss.

“Welcome to the Exciting New World of Airtel” she says, the lady with a pleasant voice, surely they have made an effort in selecting this woman, a voice as sweet as honey. “Get closer to what you love with Airtel Broadband and Fixed Line” she says…. Ah ha, victory is near, the Airtel lady has spoken. “You have reached 1 9 8 complaints helpline, for information related to Airtel Broadband and Fixed Line, please dial 1 2 1 from your Airtel fixed line”, “hold on” he thinks “are they asking me to call 1 2 1 or, oh wait, it’s just a cleverly placed and cunningly worded informative statement that’s meant to divert my train of thought”, “I don’t require information, I just need to make a complaint regarding a ‘locked port’” and so, he continued to listen.

And then it started, the main course, “for English press 1”, “Hindi ke liye dho dabayae”, “Tamilikku moondrai azhuthavum”, since Tamil is his Mother Tongue, he decides to press 1 for English, why? Cause now he wants to sound cool, just like the Airtel lady.

Upon pressing 1, he hears the lady address him again “To continue with the same fixed line number, press 1”, “to enter a new fixed line number, press 2”, pressing 2, he is taken to the next part of this adventure that he so loves, “hope there are more twists in the plot”, he pray’s.

And yes, just as he had hoped, more options to choose from, “for information related to your fixed line service, press 1”, “for information related to your internet and broadband related services, press 2”, “to repeat, press zero” the Airtel Lady spoke again. “Now to take control of my life and its destiny” he thought to himself, “and to solve the mystery of the broadband and its locked port”, he presses 2.

“To serve you better…blah, blah, blah…upgrading our systems… blah, blah, blah... won’t be able to... blah, blah… sorry for the inconvenience”. “Gnooooooooooo!!!” he screams, since the lady has distracted him with a random statement about Airtel serving him better, by providing rubbish service etc, “well at least she’s honest and apologetic about it” he thought. By now the rage had been built up, “at least now they will put me on to a person with whom I can speak to, regarding my lousy locked port”

But alas, all that was heard was another “Gnooooooooooo!!!” for another menu of choices had to be selected, more options and more hurdles. Feeling the slightest bit of temper creeping in, he listens carefully, for the end might be near.

She spoke, with her voice like a siren’s song. You cannot resist but to hear, as she throws out option after option after option for you to choose from, “for complaints and requests related to billing and payments, press 1”, “for technical complaints and request, press 2”, “to know more about the best offer for you, press 3”, “to know the status of the service request and profile management, press 4”, “for any other complaints and request, press 5”, “to repeat, press zero”, “to go back to the previous menu, press 7”, “to go back to the main menu, press 8”, what?, who?, where?, when?, confused and tired, he wonders ‘would option 2 be the answer to all my problems, is there really a light at the end of that tunnel, did we really land on the moon… hold on, I need to press something’. 2 it is.

On pressing 2, he heard the nastiest thing anyone has ever said to him, in the history of his existence, the vile words struck sharply at him, “for broadband not working, press 1”, “For browsing related concerns, press 2”, “For any other broadband related complaints, press 3”, “To repeat, press 0”, “To go back to the previous menu, press 7”, “To go back to the main menu, press 8”, “To speak to our customer service representative, press 9”.

Wait a minute; he thought “what was that at the end? Could it be true? A Customer Service Representative? Could it be the answer to all of life’s problems? Oh Internet, here I come!”

“Nine I tell you, Nine! Nine! Nine! Waaaahahhahaha…. Oh you beautiful Nine, how, I longed for you?” and so he rejoiced for the end seemed near.

Now the lady wouldn’t just transfer his call, oh no she won’t, she needed to make sure she knew what he’s doing, she needs to reassure him, by saying “Please stay online while we transfer your call to the customer service representative”, “I know, I know, come on, faster, were almost there” the thoughts barely out of his mouth, when she said “This call maybe recorded for our internal quality purpose”. ”Quality!” he thought “what quality? I have been waiting here, for what seems like an eternity, going through various options, different loop holes and other ridiculous obstacles to get to this final moment of victory”.

Now where’s the Customer Service Representative? It’s ringing, and the ring turns into that ghastly music again. This jingle on a constant loop feels like a cotton ear bud is being replaced by a blunt, rusty shovel that is digging at my very soul, least of all my damned ears.

Music…

There she was again, “please stay on the line, our customer service representative will be with you shortly” and I thought to myself, “She hasn’t let me down all this while, every time I chose an option that she gave me, she delivered and I was one step closer to Nirvana”.

Music…

Engaged Tone……………. … … … … . . . .

“Gnoooooooooooo!, Oh lord, if you are up there? Take me now!!” screamed Santhosh over the thought of going through this whole fiasco all over again. But unfortunately for him, he had to do it a few times over.

The Verdict is? Well let’s just say that in life… “for bliss, press none”, “for horror, press 198”

Music…

Reminiscing

A decade gone by… In the blink of an eye, we have entered into the year 2011, “The Future” is here. I had big dreams for this future, flying cars, space stations, jet packs and cure for all diseases, and most of it came true, and to the ones that didn’t, well, I can wait.

The most memorable ten years. Between the period 2000 and 2010, I have witnessed and experienced some of the greatest events in my life. Love lost and better yet, found. Relationships built to last time, and others broken. Dear ones lost, and new entrants brought into being. I grew personally, both to be a better person (left to judgment) and to be a larger person (fact).

People have done nothing more than to amaze me these past ten years, the hurdles we as humans have crossed, the love that we have shown, the sheer strength of the human heart and mind is baffling. I know what you are thinking, this joker is mad! It is true that we have become more destructive in the past ten years than any other time in history, we destroy each other and the very world that sustains us, but then again, we are human after all. We do, because we are.

To be reminiscing? Absolutely, think of the events, the people and the choices that have changed our lives, for the better or worse, they all made a difference.

p.s. I wish you all a very Happy New Year… May the next ten years be as kick ass… Cheers